Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.
Anthony Bourdain – Kitchen Confidential, Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly
I have always traveled to eat. Food is my love – from fine dining to street food – I don’t discriminate when it comes to food and I love it all equally.
People who know me, know about my love for food and how I travel to explore cuisines around the world. But ever so often I meet someone new, tell them about my solo travels, and get the incredulous question: “So you are eating alone at a restaurant when you travel by yourself?”
Sometimes I want to be snarky and say something like “Nooo. I lost ten kilos during my last trip because I didn’t want to eat on my own. Can’t you tell?!” But usually, I can stop myself in time because I have realized that the idea of dinner for one is the undesirable holy grail of solo travel for many. Something that scares them into submission: to rather stay at home, to travel with someone who might not be the greatest travel buddy, or to never venture far from the hotel buffet.
The other day even my well-traveled friend Katia asked me: How do you manage it? Going to a restaurant alone? How are you being treated when dining alone as a woman?
Her questions made me think about this act of dining alone that has become second nature for me, something I rarely question or notice anymore. And with that, I thought it was high time to share some of my tried and tested tips for dining alone. Bon appetit!
Nobody puts Baby in a corner & How to eat at a restaurant alone
“Table for one please,” I can hardly recognize this little voice ushering these words as my own. “Are you on your own?” The Maître D’ seems to be shouting as if he needs to make sure such a thing is even possible. But who would ask for a table for one if not an absolute necessity? He makes a face then hesitates and leads me to the back of the restaurant, probably next to the kitchen or even worse right by the loo. I probably won’t mind or complain about this crappy table. Tables are meant for two, so I should be happy to get a table at all. We are not in a hotel after all where he could make up for it by charging me a single supplement.
Now the waiter comes towards me. Should I admit now that I am by myself so he will take the second set away? Or should I let him assume that I am a regular person with some significant other for just a little longer? Before I can make up my mind, he asks the dreaded question: “Just you?” “Yes,” I sigh and am grateful that he has already brought the cocktail menu for me to hide behind.
This scenario may or may not have happened to me before…
When you look at Google, questions like “Is eating alone at a restaurant weird?” or “Does everyone feel awkward eating alone in a restaurant?” pop up frequently. This seems to be a good indicator that you are not alone if you are worried about eating alone. Obviously, the answer to the first question is ‘no’ and the answer to the second question: probably or at least sometimes. At times even I will myself if it is odd to eat alone in a fine dining restaurant or an especially romantic setting. But I don’t like waiting for the right travel or dining companion and I especially don’t like waiting hungry (trust me – you don’t want me hungry!).
Over the years and many solo trips, I have come up with some travel tips that make eating out alone easier and will ensure that you don’t have to sit at the crappy table next to the toilet.
Come very early
Know what time dinner and lunch are served in your travel destination. I am writing this from Greece and I know for a fact that I have a very good chance to get a great table even in high season when I come before 7 pm. If I were to try any time after 8 pm chances are I am going to go hungry.
I found that most restaurants don’t mind squeezing you in if you come early enough as they know that most solo diners won’t stay for hours. Remind them if necessary – I often ask for a table for one ‘for a quick dinner’.
Once you know you got a table don’t wait to be shown to any table – ask for the one you would like. Depending on your mood you might want to be the center of attention or hide in the corner (perfectly fine as long as this is your choice) so communicate where you want to sit. And know that you can decline if you are not happy with the seating arrangements – be friendly but assertive and remember you don’t have to be grateful to be ‘allowed’ to eat alone at a restaurant.
Another advantage of eating early is the undivided attention you will be getting from the staff. Now is the perfect time to discuss the pros & cons of sardines vs moussaka in length and score an extra amuse-bouche.
In addition, I prefer an early dinner these days not only for better digestion (uff, that makes me sound so old…) but also for safety. Chances are, I still have to make my way back to my accommodation which I prefer to do when it is not too late to walk or take public transport.
Make a reservation
Obviously, the best way to secure a good table is to make a reservation. Especially if you are going for a solo dinner at a fancy restaurant reservations are the way to go. This way you can make sure to get a table – no small feat during busy times – and if you get lucky even a good one.
There are some fine dining restaurants that won’t seat solo diners but they still seem few and far between – when in doubt send an email to the restaurant or call, you will see that solo dining isn’t an issue in most places.
Something I usually do: walk around a neighborhood during the day, poke my nose into various menus and just ask for a reservation for the evening right then and there if I like a place.
Sit at the bar
The solo traveler’s best friend is the bar counter when dining. Not only is it wholly acceptable to sit here on your own it is even encouraged. If two people eat at the counter, it merely means there was no table available. For a solo eater, it means peace and quiet or making friends with the other fellow diners at the bar – whatever you prefer.
If there is no one else, there is always a bartender, and they usually don’t mind a conversation to make the time pass, especially if the restaurant isn’t too busy.
A great alternative to a regular bar counter are kitchen counters that many restaurants offer these days. These are a real highlight for me because they are more comfortable than bar counters and offer a proper look into the kitchen to watch chefs do their magic. When I made a reservation to dine at the very chic Zuka restaurant in Rio de Janeiro. the kind hostess placed me at their kitchen counter. No questions asked, she just told me she assumed it would be more comfortable and exciting for me which it was as I literally had a front-row seat.
What to do while eating alone?
Some people don’t mind just sitting there, eating alone and doing nothing else. I am not one of those. While I like people watching as much as the next person I usually get bored after a few minutes. And while I really should chew more and concentrate on the food on my plate it still won’t keep me busy before and after my meal arrives.
So I chat. With the staff or even with fellow diners over our menus. Mind you, this will obviously depend on how busy a place is and what kind of diners go there. If you braved the romantic hotspot in town the couple next to you might not be interested in a menage a trois even in terms of conversation. Then again, you never know – a friendly look, a question about the dish they chose and you might be chatting up a storm in no time. Or you may have to leave it at that. As with anything in life: be open, friendly, and read the room.
Solo dining is mostly my designated reading time though. I don’t mind being the nerd sitting alone in a restaurant full of chatty diners with my red wine and my book. For the past few years, I have been reading on my iPhone using the Kindle App but honestly, I don’t think I would mind taking an actual book to a restaurant. I guess I wouldn’t quite go as far as watching Netflix in public but putting up my phone against a bottle and reading I don’t mind at all.
Alternatives to going to restaurants alone
As with anything else, practice makes perfect and that goes for solo dining as well. Start small with a quick lunch and work your confidence up to a 3-course dinner.
If you have tried a few times and still hate eating alone at a restaurant here are some great alternatives – after all, you gotta eat somehow, right?!
Street food
Street food is a concept pretty much unknown in my German upbringing. We have bratwurst and kebabs, but they have little in common with the joys that I have in mind right when I hear the word street food. Pa Tong Ko for example, small, freshly fried Thai donuts that are best dipped in warm green pandan custard. Sounds strange? Tastes amazing! I don’t even mind queuing up for them whenever I visit Bangkok.
Most street food is meant to be eaten standing up or doesn’t need more than a little plastic stool and a ramshackle table on a roadside. Those places are not intended to linger which makes them an excellent concept for solo eaters because street food tends to be fast food. You order, eat, pay, and leave. Nobody will give you a second look because you are dining alone. In many cases, you will have to share a table either with other solo eaters or a family of ten. A seat becomes available, someone else takes it, and on and on it goes – street food is interactive and always moving.
Take a food tour or cooking class
If you are a street food newbie, I can also recommend a food tour. This is a great introduction to a country’s pots and an alternative for those who don’t want to eat alone.
I did my first food tour in Marrakech. My American friend Amanda and her Moroccan husband Youssouf founded Marrakech Food Tours a few years ago to bring the different cultures of their countries to one proverbial table. The restaurants and food stalls they visit with their customers need to fulfill two requirements: would Amanda’s American parents want to eat here and would Youssouf’s Moroccan parents approve of its authenticity? According to these criteria, they lead hungry guests through the medina of Marrakech. On such a tour can learn where to find the best Tagia and see how it is prepared, find the best pastries, learn how to spot the yummiest snail soup, and try Hout Quari, a sandwich filled with sardine balls
If you prefer to get your hands dirty, book a local cooking class. A cooking class is not only a great opportunity to meet other foodies but to learn about traditional cuisine and how to make it. I found that classes can be more or less interactive – some will ask you to pick your own fruit first while others will hand you everything pre-cut and all you gotta do is stir. Depending on what kind of cook you are (or want to become) check beforehand how the class is set up.
Cooking classes are also great if you have any food intolerances or allergies as you are in charge of your own meal and can see firsthand what goes into a dish.
Either way cooking classes are great if you want to eat amongst like-minded people. Stirring the pot together, tasting, calls of ‘You are on fire!’ – those are bonding experiences, and you end up making friends before you sit down to eat. Even those who prefer to stay outside, smoking and knowing there will be others to stir and put out the fire, will usually meet at least one other person who is hoping for the same.
Eat at someone’s home
A recent travel trend is homecooked dinners in someone’s home. Similar to the original concept of Airbnb you can now book meals through Airbnb Experiences or companies like BonAppetour, a company that solely focuses on dining experiences. You basically pay to come to a dinner party at someone’s home which means you a) don’t have to eat alone and b) get yummy, local food.
2 comments
Thanks for also talking about how food tours can be a good option when going on a food trip alone. I’m interested in looking for restaurants with live music because I’m currently writing a food blog. Finding locations with a lot of personality will surely be great for that.
Oh great idea too when one is traveling alone to go to a restaurant with live music, so fun!