How to Overcome the Fear of Traveling Alone.

After many years on the road, you would think I have this whole solo travel thing down and know how to overcome the fear of traveling alone. Heck, I have written a book about the subject! And yes most of the time I am doing okay though I have noticed that the last 2 years with significantly less travel have dulled my skills a little. With my Morocco Women’s Adventure commencing in exactly 2 weeks and I knew it was high time to dust off the cobwebs.  

With that, I decided this is a good place to gather my best tips on how to overcome the fear of traveling alone and hopefully not only help a lot of people but also take my own damn advice. 

Fear of traveling alone? My best tips for budding solo travelers 

There is no ‘best way’ to travel solo

First things first – I don’t know when or how it started but even today when solo travel has become such a buzzword, people still seem to equate it with backpacking. Remember the movie “The Beach”? This is what many people seem to have in mind when they hear the term solo travel. And I am not surprised someone would be scared to travel alone or really travel at all after seeing that movie. Yes, the Beach was a cool adventure that many would like to relive but I think it is absolutely fine to not want to stay in a roach-infested hostel, get shot at, and watch your friend lose a tooth to some rusty pliers. Especially since a stary night with Virginie Ledoyen is never guaranteed in return for the hardship you may endure. 

And you don’t have to travel like this. One of the best things about solo travel is that you get to decide how you want to go about it and what you want to do. 

• When in doubt, start small – baby steps is the keyword. There is no need to backpack through South America on your first journey. Plan a weekend trip to a city close to your home town or go to a foreign country where you speak the local language so you don’t have to worry about the language barrier. 
• Travel according to your needs, wants, and budget. You don’t have to sleep in a bunk in a crowded dorm room. Get yourself a nice hotel room with a hot tub or at least a private room in a hostel if you are keen on camaraderie but prefer to sleep alone. 
• Be spontaneous, be adventurous but most important – be safe and be comfortable … The truly great thing about solo travel is that you get to choose what kind of trip you want every step of the way.

I remember I had been wanting to go to India for a long time but to be honest the fear of traveling alone in India got to me. I was scared to go on my own. An opportunity arose with an invitation to go to Kerala on a press trip. I, however, really wanted to see the Taj Mahal and the pink city of Jaipur, both quite a long way from Kerala. Instead of not going at all or doing what all backpackers in India seem to do – hop on a wonky train to get from A to B – I decided to do it my way. I hired a driver who was recommended by a friend to pick me up from the airport in Delhi and take me to Agra and then to Jaipur where I booked a single room in a hostel. It was a great way to travel alone as a woman in India but still experience what I wanted to see. 

A TAJ MAHAL VISIT – A PLACE OF BROKEN HEARTS.

The right destination

Next up is the question – where to go when traveling alone for the first time? Chances are your first solo trip will take you a little bit out of your comfort zone, and that’s okay! As the saying goes – this is where the magic happens. 

I am personally not a fan of lists that name “best countries for solo travelers”, I think you should rather follow your heart and explore a place you truly want to explore. 

• Maybe that is easier said than done though and if you still have fear of travel and feel a bit uneasy start with places that are easy to navigate, have a good touristic infrastructure, and are overall considered ‘safe’ destinations. Thailand and Bali are amazing options for solo travelers as are cities like Singapore and Doha or European countries like Denmark, Iceland, or Malta. 
• Once you have settled on a destination make a plan: how to get there, where to stay, etc. While spontaneous, going with the flow kind of travel can be a wonderful thing to me, planning makes my travel anxiety a lot less severe. The more you know and have organized, the better you will feel. And remember: you can practice traveling and even things like navigating an airport will get easier over time!
• With a bit of planning and preparation, you won’t feel like an alien once you get to your new destination. Part of this is to read up on cultural norms and customs beforehand. Especially female travelers often need to be a bit more mindful about what to wear and how to behave in certain countries to avoid unwanted attention. In general, it is a good idea to have at least a broad sense of what to expect in new places and when meeting new people. This way you won’t stick out like a sore thumb and feel a bit more at ease once you arrive. 

Here you will find a whole guide on how to travel alone for the first time!

Will I be lonely?

One of the biggest travel fear many solo travelers face is the question: Will I be lonely? And I am not going to lie to you – chances are there might be times you will feel lonely. But it is important to remember that being alone doesn’t equate to feeling lonely. You can be in a room full of people, heck a room full of friends or family members, and still feel lonely. Loneliness is a state of mind, not of the body. 

• With that said, there are plenty of ways to make new friends on the road. A great way to meet new people in a new place is through Facebook groups according to an interest or hobby you may have. I have met plenty of fellow scuba divers through the Girls That Scuba group and it seems these days every city has a digital nomad or female travelers group where you can ask questions and connect with like-minded people. Chances are not every person you meet will become your new best friend but sometimes a bit of friendly small talk or someone to have an adventure with is all you need to feel less alone. 
• Another great way to meet people is group tours. There is no definition of solo travel that says you need to be on your own all the time. I have met plenty of amazing people on group trips and stayed in touch with quite a few. It is great to know people from all over the world when you start to plan your next adventure!
• By the way, if an entire group tour holiday is not your cup of tea, try a day tour. This way you can still enjoy all the benefits of a solo trip but meet some people for an activity for a few hours – win-win. 

Dinner for one

Interestingly enough for many, the fear of traveling alone goes hand in hand with the fear of eating alone. Lucky for you this is an art I have mastered over the years as someone who travels to eat. You can find all my tips for eating alone and how to get used to dinner for one in this post:

DINNER FOR ONE – TIPS FOR EATING ALONE AT A RESTAURANT.

How to stay safe

The biggest fear for many solo travelers (and their parents) is probably safety. In a way I get it, the world can be a scary place. But remember your home might be someone else’s ‘scary’ travel destination and vice versa – shit can happen almost anywhere in the world. Don’t let an often false sense of security at home keep you from going places. Because while the world can be scary it is also amazing and people are kind and welcoming. 

• As I wrote above, travel is something you can practice as is common sense and following your gut, two of the most important things you will need on any trip.
• Spend money on safety; and by that, I don’t mean buying an anti-theft purse (those tend to get noticed rather quickly by professionals)! Rather take a taxi when you don’t know how to get around and after dark, stay in a reputable hotel and area, read safety reviews before getting on a boat or booking a tour, and don’t go for the cheapest option. 
• Make sure to take more than one credit card, keep your valuables close, and don’t flash anything expensive. Also, read up on the most common scams so you know what to look out for. 
• I strongly believe that the world is not inherently out to get us so keep your wits about you but don’t worry too much – adventure awaits and for everything else there is good travel insurance (that is something you should never ever go anywhere without!). 

THE HINDSIGHT GUIDE TO TRAVEL SAFETY.

Will I get scared? 

Maybe. With all these tips you may still get scared sometimes, but I don’t think this should keep you from traveling alone nor is it necessarily a bad thing. Being a little scared can be a good thing. I have been plenty scared and even had some proper panic attacks while traveling. 

When I was having panic attacks in Mexico it wasn’t because I was in Mexico. It was because I had fallen for a guy who left me without a word and I was confused and couldn’t curb my anxiety. This was not his fault (though he was definitely an ass for leaving like this) and it wasn’t Mexico’s fault either. Life happens even when you are traveling. 

I am not telling you this to scare you even more but rather for you to be realistic with your expectations. I wasn’t scared because I was traveling, I was scared while I was traveling. Life and all its wonderful and terrible emotions don’t stop while you are traveling, in fact, sometimes they are a bit heightened, for better or for worse. And when in doubt just remember Mandela’s words: courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.

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