I must admit I have been spoilt lately when it comes to flying. Thanks to Emirates I was lucky enough to see more of business class in two flights than I ever did in my entire life before. As Miranda said on Sex and The City: Once you have done first class, you can never go back to coach.
That's what I tried to tell the flight attendants when I boarded my 12-hour LATAM flight to Sao Paolo and they told me to go right instead of left. Alas, I didn't want to listen and so I sucked it up. After all, Brazil was waiting for me and surely be worth the ordeal.
I made it alive with a few more wrinkles and a little wiser about flying. With that, I have assembled a few rules for flying coach. As this is not Fight Club though I will talk about them, so let's rather call them flight tips to surviving a night in coach and to gather good flight karma. With that, the next upgrade may just be around the corner and you can go back to ignoring me over bottomless glasses of champagne...
two. Put your seat up for dinner times, people! I thought this would go without saying, but apparently not - thanks, lady in front of me.
three. The good earplugs may or may not get stuck in your hair. Have a look in the mirror before leaving the plane.
four. I will admit that I prefer not to sit close to little children or babies on a long flight. However, I also really like it if parents travel with their little ones - if I was a mother, I would take my kids everywhere. With that said, I really try to cut them some slack and not be the person that shoots them and their screaming baby daggers. I prefer to assume that they are doing the best they can.
five. Don't bang your luggage on top of other people's luggage in the overhead compartment without asking. Seriously! Am I the only person who has a laptop, a camera, a Toblerone, and other frail things in my hand luggage?
seven. Be nice to the flight attendants. They are the only ones who can answer the question Is there more wine? favorably.
eight. No applause upon landing. Unless the pilot just saved your life.
nine. I hate lines and waiting in lines with a passion. Unfortunately, we are not all made equal when it comes to waiting in line. That's why I envy business class when it comes to check-in and boarding. But sit as far upfront in coach as possible and you may just beat business class in line for immigration.
ten. Middle seat gets BOTH armrests. Yes, you read correctly. If you were unlucky enough to score the middle seat, they are both yours.
ten & a half. However, if you are a guy it does not entitle you to sit with your legs spread cowboy style. In that case, you are allowed to nudge said guy with your elbow. Even better if you are not shy like me and can actually tell him straight that whatever is in between his legs is not as big as he thinks it is.
What are your rules for flying coach and good flight karma? Let's share more and get upgrades for everybody!
Images 1, 3, 5 via Unsplash